Picture Windows

Categories: Memento | 1 Comment

The sun sets so late now that I am hardly ever out after dark. All of us are usually home by 7 or 8, so we can get the kids into bed by 9. Right now when I put my daughter to bed there is still the barest hint of day in the Western sky and her room is dim instead of dark. That transitional time between sunset and night, The Blue Hour as it is often called, is my favorite time of day. It is the gloaming. Gloaming creeps out like a cat, to soften the dying light and lend an air of unreality where even the harsh and ugly is rendered kindly.

When I am stuck indoors at the gloaming, I pine to be outside and when I am outside, I ache for those few magic minutes to stretch into hours. So it was that I found myself out and about at my favorite time of day/night. It was just a short trip to the grocery store for the mundane things of life, but it is always thus. For me, it is the ordinary tasks of life that lead to extraordinary insights.

As I drove I could see houses lighting up from the inside. Do the people inside wait until nearly dark to pop on the lights or do they leave them on all day, only to become visible in the dark? And I happened to see an architectural feature I’ve noticed before. Picture windows.

Exactly who is supposed to see the picture? Is it for the people inside; do they look out their picture windows only to see the house across the street, with its own picture window? Or is the picture for those outside; pictures of what goes in inside? They do frequently allow us to see vignettes of other lives.

My House doesn’t have one of these curious things. The parts of our House that face the street are bedrooms and are very closed-in and private. The entire back of the House is a glass wall, completely open, but only to the back yard. We would have to work pretty hard to let passers-by see into our lives. A lot of other houses in our neighborhood were built at the height of the picture window-era. And we often see glimpses inside, as we are driving or walking by.

Maybe we get to see bustling scenes of people going about their daily lives: having dinner, watching television, playing, fighting. Often we see curtains open to show off a static room, quiet and still as if it were frozen in amber. Humans rarely grace these rooms, except to dust the plastic plants or fluff pillows that have no need of fluffing. Children are never allowed in these rooms, and really, there is nothing for children to do there. The only reason children would even go in there is to see Mom turn just that exact shade of purple.

It is the stuffiest, dullest room in the house, one that only adult guests are subjected to, possibly as a form of veiled hostility. Mom says it is a room for a company, but it isn’t. She resents their presence as well, this is a room in which the only acceptable “guests” are those outside of it. You are to admire it from afar, to gaze in wonder at its lifeless perfection. These often tiny rooms have nothing to do with the way people live, they are disconnected from family life. And I feel a shiver of delicate horror whenever I see these dead spaces.

This striving for perfection is understandable, and impossible. I, too, would love to have one room stay clean for longer than a few hours. But I just don’t have the space to spare to say, “Look, the rest of my life may be chaos, but this room always stays perfect.” If I did have an extra room it would be a playroom, an office, a sewing and ironing room, a workout room. It would not be a dead space.

What kind of picture would I want people to see? A moving picture, a snapshot of daily life, or time-lapse pictures in which to see my children grow up. But I think I will skip the still-life, with its cut flowers, rotting fruit, and ever-present death.

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Well, It’s Raining. Again.

Categories: Weather , Oklahoma , Spirit | 1 Comment

Not too many years back, the governor issued burn ban after burn ban because of the wildfires ripping through our state. I live in midtown, but some of the fires got close enough to town for us to smell them in our backyard. The very air left the taste of charcoal at the back of my throat. Years of drought had turned the prairie into a tinderbox. Ranchers were suffering, but many generous folks from out of state donated hay so their animals could eat.

At the same time the prairie was burning, I began writing again. Thus the name of my blog. One of my closest-held dreams when I was young was to be a writer. But life intervened and I never got around to making that dream come true. Years later, when I was sure that I had expended all my creativity to create two beautiful children, I found my voice again. In blogging.

How I wish that I had know about this during that first horrid, post-partum-depression-wracked year after my son was born. (Or that blogging had even existed during the five years I battle infertility.) But I remained ensconced in my milky isolation, never even guessing how many mothers were out there, mothers who felt just like I did.

Now, after the fires and during the deluge, here am I, writing free. Free of those who actively discouraged me from writing for a living, free of those who simply did not care to stand in my corner, free of concern for how others (even family) see me.

The earth is lush and green and soggy with ideas. The temperatures are kind and the air scrubbed clean by the constant rain. Now all I need is summer’s bright promise to see what will bloom.

Poet

The wind has really been sweeping down the plains this week, blowing the trees back and forth. More limbs have fallen out of the trees, shaken from their tenuous holds by these seasonable winds. Today, as I was walking the kids up to the playground, we noticed that the grass was getting kind of long. Monkey pointed and yelled, “Look at the grass!” I replied, “Yeah, it looks like it’s waving.” Then he said, “No, the grass looks like it’s dancing!”

Did I spawn a poet or what?

Wayfinder

“Do angels walk among us?” The question never varied in its essence, only in its particulars. This time, the author of the latest bestseller about angels asked the question.

Veronica studied the woman, who went by the highly improbable name of Serendipity Fogg. Ms. Fogg was somewhere between 40 and 50 years old, with just the slightest hint of age showing in the creases around her eyes and the slightly wobbling flesh under her chin. She wore the uniform of too many New Age writers—long Indian-print skirt, loose tank-top style blouse in matching painted silk, chunky indeterminate-ethnic jewelry, and ugly sandals. Serendipity wore her doe-brown hair in a long, shiny curtain to her waist. It seemed to be the woman’s one concession to vanity. Her face was completely bare of make-up; and she had taken no measures to remove the beginnings of a faint moustache.

Ah well, Veronica sighed to herself, this part of her trip was wasted. This woman did not possess any more knowledge or wisdom than had any of the others. Crossing the country, she had met with preachers, dreamers, charlatans, and madmen. All claimed to have seen or been visited by angels. But none of them had. Except, maybe the poor, mad ones. There was no way to tell what secrets truly hid inside those tortured minds.

It had been too long, years maybe, since she had met anyone else like her. Oh, there were plenty of people who talked about angels, or collected angel images, or fantasized about angels. Whole little societies had sprung up around the idea of angels. These angel enthusiasts could be found in catholic bookstores, metaphysics classes, New Age shops, and the big chain bookstores when authors came to sign their newest angel books. Tonight was just such a night; the bookstore was crammed with angel enthusiasts. Veronica thought of them as addicts, there to get their fix of angel lore, enough to tide them over until the next book was published or the next photograph of an angel-shaped light or cloud was passed around.

She liked to come to these things when she wasn’t working, but tonight she had a job to do, her mission was here somewhere. Veronica scanned the angel-loving crowd, looking for just the right kind of face, the correct look in someone’s eye, the glow that says “I have been chosen,” even if that person doesn’t know he or she has been chosen. So many years (decades?) on the job had given Veronica a finely honed intuitive sense for her quarry.

The message this time was short, she shouldn’t have to spend a long time delivering it, but time meant very little to Veronica and she didn’t do anything halfway. A creature of excellence, she would make sure the recipient of the message fully understood and knew just which way to go.

Since time was always on her side, and since her intended hadn’t shown up yet, Veronica decided to have a little, harmless fun. She rose up two inches off the floor and glided over to the line to meet the author. Not one of the dozens of angel fanatics noticed her feet hovering ever so slightly above the floor. Just as she reached Ms. Fogg’s table she spotted her mission. It was a young woman this time, one wearing the nametag of an employee. The young woman was patiently answering a customer’s questions, so Veronica had a few minutes to spare.

Serendipity Fogg greeted her with the same pale pleasantries that everyone else had received. No spark of recognition, not even a glimmer of real interest. For all Ms. Fogg’s New Age pretensions, Veronica knew she stood before a stout non-believer. And she felt offended for all the other people there, the ones who really did believe in angels.

I’ll show her to toy with people’s dearly held beliefs, Veronica said to herself. And as the author reached out to shake just another admirer’s hand, Veronica the Wayfinder decided to show her the way. Dodging the offered hand, she instead touched her finger to Serendipity’s forehead, just at the third eye. “Now you can see,” said the Wayfinder.

Before the author had time to respond, Veronica slipped away. She had spotted her mission, who was alone for the moment, so she cornered the young woman. “Ana, I’ve come to tell you that it is time to go home.”

Confused, the woman looked at her and said, “Uh, no. I’m not scheduled to leave until 9 pm.”

“No, Anasazi, it is time for you to return to where you belong. I have been sent to tell you this. There was one place where you felt truly at home, you need to go back there.” The girl wasn’t answering so Veronica continued, “I was told that you would understand, that you have wanted to go back for years. It is time.”

The young woman shook her head and worked to refocus her eyes. This stranger’s voice had reached deep into her head and made her think of Post, the town she had left a decade before. Ten years had passed in a blur of dead-end jobs, half-hearted friendships, and failed romances. Her heart had ached for years, lonely for a place to call home. But Post?

She had ignored all the people who told her she would come back. That Post would always be her home. But now Ana knew that they were right, had been right from the very beginning. It was time to go home. Home to Post.

Veronica knew all these thoughts, could see them written plainly on Ana’s face. But something still seemed to trouble her.

Touching the nametag on her chest, the one that read simply “Ana”, she asked, “How do you know my full name? Nobody but my mother calls me that, and then it’s only when she’s angry. Nobody knows that name!”

The Wayfinder just smiled and said, “He does.” Then Veronica turned and left, still hovering just above the floor.

From that night forward, Ms. Serendipity Fogg dropped her pen name and started using her birth certificate name again. As a writer, Mildred Fogg was nowhere near as popular as Serendipity had been but as a person, she was happier. Now she could see all the wonderful things that really did exist in the world. And never again did she have to ask if angels walked among us, because she could see them. Sometimes they were angels all the time, sometimes they masqueraded as humans, but most of the time, the angels Mildred saw were real people doing angelic things for others.

As for Ana, she found her way back home.

There’s a Fever in the Air

Categories: Weather , Oklahoma | No Comments

Cottonwood is an abomination. I know some of you out there may disagree with me about this devil-tree, but what are you nuts!?! I stepped out the door today and for the first time in a week I didn’t feel like an extra in Legend. This time of year I start sneezing when I look out the window and see the cottonwood fuzz drifting through the yard. Some of those fuzzies destined to become new devil-trees, some weakly clinging at the edges of lawns and curbs, but most seem to be sent directly towards me to make my eyes water, my nose itch, and my sinuses swell up like over-filled water balloons.

Since the age of nine, I have been plagued by allergies-seasonal and year-round, indoor and outdoor, air-borne and contact. But springtime and autumn have typically brought the most agony per day for me. In one of my many half-hearted attempts at diary-keeping I wrote “Sick with allergies” day after day after day. Finally, I stopped writing about being sick and wrote when I finally felt better.

Many people think hay fever doesn’t actually involve fever, but frequently in my case it did. This is not without precedence–allergic reactions are the body’s immune response to harmless substances. It is a hyper-response considering the generally benign nature of the allergens in question. But is it the exact same immune system that also responds to pathogens, so the symptoms can mimic those of viral infections. Including a febrile response.

Anyway, I quickly developed severe symptoms–sneezing, sinus swelling, congestion, asthma, hives, swollen and watery eyes. I adjusted my life around my allergies. Sequestering myself inside an air-conditioned house or car, avoiding strange animals, carrying an inhaler at all times, trying every new allergy prescription that came out. And often, it wasn’t enough. Every spring seemed to train its full arsenal on me, I was starting to take it personal.

As I got older things calmed down. Instead of the full gauntlet, I’d get hit with one or two foul symptoms per season. Then something beautiful happened to me-I got pregnant! The natural immuno-suppressant effects of pregnancy (the ones that keep your body from treating the fetus as a pathogen) kicked in and totally kept my body from over-reacting to pollen! Oh, and the baby was pretty cool, too. Two and a half years later came baby number two. All the while I was still convinced that I finally had a permanent reprieve from all my many allergies. But. Isn’t there always a but?

But, my “reprieve” after the babies were born had very little to do with finally out-growing my allergies and everything to do with climate control. Air-conditioned house to air-conditioned car to air-conditioned store and back again. All for the sake of keeping babies comfortable and safe. Silly me. I found out the folly of my assumptions when I started walking Monkey to school last fall.

Tulsa is one of the absolute worst places for allergy-sufferers but I have lived other places and haven’t found a significant difference. If the pollen doesn’t get to me, the air pollution will. And this year must be a terrible year, because all of a sudden Hubby is having a time of it.

When I was growing up my mother had terrible hay fever and Dad was convinced it was all in her head. Then as she got older, her symptoms become a lot less severe, but guess who’s got worse? Yep, Dad’s. Now that I’m older and have been dealing with this for so long, my symptoms are considerably better, but guess who’s have gotten worse? Yep, Hubby’s.

Not to say that Hubby wasn’t sympathetic or anything. I just don’t think he had a real understanding of this seasonal misery, unfortunately the poor guy does now. Bless his heart.

Oh, by the way, if any of you are planting any trees this year, for the love of everything holy DO NOT PLANT THE DEVIL’S OWN TREE!!!!! Please. Cottonwood sucks.

Here We Go

Categories: Weather | 2 Comments

I’m sitting in the closet with the kids. Pray for us, this could get bad. I hate tornadoes.

Miss Rose and The Girls

The mannequins on the front porch made him jump a little. Every time he saw them, they were arranged or dressed a little differently, as if they possessed some kind of glacier-slow life that he only saw in flashes. But Fort knew that Miss Rose paid careful attention to her “girls” as she called them, changing their outfits and posing them. And he knew that many more were inside the house; in the kitchen, at the dining table, sitting demurely in the parlor, in the upstairs bedrooms, and in the attic.

Rose Dose was the 70 year old widow of the old town doctor, Dr. Dose, but everyone called her Miss Rose. In any other town, Miss Rose would’ve been the town eccentric or the town crazy, but here no one thought her, or her astounding collection of store mannequins, particularly odd. No odder than old Jerry, who had nailed dozens of old guitars to the outside of his house, or Mary Gibson, who had filled her kitchen with ceramic pigs. Just another collector.

He knocked on the door and called out, “Miss Rose, are ya’ home?”

“Fort, is that you, honey?” a high, sweet voice answered from the back yard.

“Yes, ma’am, I’ve got your birdseed.”

“Oh, that’s fine, that’s fine. Be a dear and bring it ’round back, will you? I need some help with Howard.”

He walked back to his truck, chuckling to himself, and pulled the seed off the tailgate. Then he hoisted it to his shoulder and walked around to the back yard, where he found Miss Rose, dressed impeccably as always, wrestling her one and only male mannequin out the back door.

“I thought Howard would like to be outside today, to show off his new hunting outfit. It’s not new really, the Doctor loved to hunt and I found some of his old gear in the attic,” she told him. Then she sighed and continued, “Of course, the poor dear couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn, good thing he was a better doctor than hunter!”

Fort smiled at that, Dr. Dose had been a good doctor, but since the gear looked practically untouched, he could believe the part about being a poor hunter.

“And besides,” she continued, “Howard would probably want to get away from the girls from time to time, if he were real.”

“Yes, ma’am, I’m sure he would,” Fort answered with a grin. “By the way, why’d you name him Howard and all the rest are just ‘the girls’?”

A wistful look crossed Miss Rose’s face. “I bought him from Howard’s Department Store in Joplin, when they went out of business. Such a nice store, pity.”

Miss Rose indicated that she wanted Howard positioned in the bushes by the gazebo, facing the back of the property. She talked about bringing more of the girls outside, for an old-fashioned garden party. So many beautiful gowns and dresses were still in storage, just waiting for their turn to be worn again. Once, her dreadfully serious daughter-in-law had remarked, negatively, about just how many gowns Rose owned. Katherine had assumed that Rose’s father or husband had bought them all, but Miss Rose had once been a smart single girl who worked in a very nice dress shop. In fact, due to her trim figure, she modeled sample sizes for customers and bought those samples at a nice discount. And being a bit of a collector, she never could bear to part with a single, hard-earned dress. So here they all were, decorating her girls.

Fort frowned when Miss Rose mentioned Katherine, because that made him think of Reid, Rose’s son. “Uh, Miss Rose, is Reid coming in for Christmas or summer vacation this year?” If it was vacation, Fort knew he would have to put Howard and the girls in storage soon.

“Don’t you worry, Fort. Reid and Katherine won’t be coming until Christmas this year.”

That was good news. The businesses downtown borrowed Miss Rose’s girls for their holiday windows, and the store employees did all the work.

“He doesn’t like the girls?” But Fort already knew the answer to that question, he just liked to hear her stories.

“That boy is just as much of a sour pickle as the Doctor was, bless his heart,” Miss Rose proclaimed, gently shaking her head. “I loved that man dearly, but how could he not see the funny in being a doctor named Dose?” It was rhetorical; Fort just smiled.

“I’ve always loved being Rose Dose, makes me sound like a medicine you’d actually want to take.”

He laughed at that. Fort thought, but didn’t say, that Miss Rose Dose was good medicine indeed. If he was fifty years older, he’d be on her doorstep with a bouquet of daisies every Friday night.

Bird seed delivered and Howard positioned, it was time for Fort to get back to work. Rose walked him to his truck and waved as he drove away. If I were fifty years younger, she said to herself, I would…But she couldn’t finish the thought, when she was young, girls just did not pursue young men. Sometimes she envied younger women, even Katherine, who just seemed so free, so unrestricted.

She shook her head and wished for the hundredth time that she knew a single young woman for Fort, but all her single acquaintances were also old widows. And it seemed like they were all competing for the same few widowers. Ah well, time was a cruel mistress with a nasty sense of humor.

Time was also unkind to her dresses, no matter how carefully she packed them away. Upstairs, in the attic, a long row of cedar chests held her precious frocks, folded away in tissue paper. Rose went to the one labeled “Spring” and opened it, releasing the scent of cedar and old fabric into the stale air of the attic. Even slightly yellowed with age, the spring dresses and gowns were lovely. Swiss dots and eyelet, tea rose prints and crinolines, boat necks and sweetheart necklines, pearl buttons and crisp cap sleeves–all things she didn’t see in the current styles–made her miss the grace of her youth.

Enough of this self-indulgence, she thought as she stood. The slight creaking in her hip reminded Rose that she wasn’t that youth anymore. “Time to get the girls dressed!” she said aloud.

It may have seemed like Rose talked to the mannequins as she dressed them, but she was really only talking to herself. Recalling this party or that wedding to which she wore some dress, and thinking about the days before the Doctor moved her to Post. Oh, how she grumbled at that! But she grew to love the slower pace and the people. While other small towns were insular and unwelcoming to strangers, Post had seemed to gather her into its fold. Even after the Doctor passed away, Rose knew she would stay. And she was glad she did, nobody ever said anything negative about her girls, except for Reid and Katherine. They seemed to take her mild eccentricity as a personal insult!

The dresses were all hanging in a closet downstairs, with any luck the wrinkles would fall out by morning. It had been a long day, but productive in its own way, so Rose went to bed.

She woke the next morning, just as the sky was starting to pink up with sunrise. Rose loved early morning, which was quite a change for her. As a young woman, she loved to stay up and out late, even when it scandalized her father. When she was a young mother, her son refused to stay down for the night, sleeping fitfully and waking every two hours. She didn’t get a decent night’s sleep until he was ten years old! Then there were the house calls, the bane of every doctor’s wife. Finally, Reid went off to college and the Doctor stopped making house calls. But after so many years of broken sleep, Rose couldn’t fix it. Now she woke literally before the chickens, the neighbor two houses down had a rooster. She had been awake at least an hour before he crowed.

Rose began to plan for the garden party tableau, as she called it. First she’d dress the girls, then she’d call her neighbor to help move them outside. The wrought iron table and chairs were already set up in the gazebo, but she’d put a pretty tablecloth on it and use her Blue Willow china. She was deep in preparation when she received two pieces of news, one good and one bad. The good news came in a phone call. The local newspaper, The Post Post, had run a piece about her girls in the Living section one Sunday and apparently some photographer from Kansas City had seen it. He wanted to take pictures of her collections, mannequins and dresses, for some big paper up there. He would be there tomorrow. The bad news, like so much bad news before, came in a letter. It was from Reid.

Not that hearing from her son was bad. Rose loved him and was so proud of him. He was a doctor, just like his father. And even if she didn’t understand, Reid saw something in her dour daughter-in-law and they had been married for ten years. Quite an accomplishment in this day and age, she thought. No, the bad news was that he and Katherine would be stopping by on their way to Dallas, where he was interviewing at a big hospital. The letter said, “next Wednesday” which should have been enough time, except mail took a little longer to get to Post. It was already Tuesday. So tomorrow would be busy, the photographer and her son would both be here.

Miss Rose spent the rest of the day getting ready for the photographer; there was no way to prepare for Reid and Katherine. The girl from next door and Fort both came over to help and her new tableau was done in record time.

For the first since he left for college, Rose had a restless night because of Reid.

Wednesday morning arrived too quickly. Miss Rose dressed more carefully than usual and made sure to wear lipstick. There was no way to know who would arrive first, the newspaper man or her son.

to be continued…..

Continued.

The photographer got there first by a few minutes. He was unloading his equipment when Reid and Katherine pulled up behind his car. Rose, standing on the porch and surrounded by mannequins, smiled and waved at them. Katherine couldn’t believe it; Rose had lied to them. The last time they had visited there had only been one mannequin in the house, the one wearing Miss Rose’s wedding gown. Reid had been pleased; his mother’s collection was a constant source of worry. To Reid, everything had a reason or purpose or deeper meaning-was his mother lonely or senile, should she really be living by herself?

The car had just barely stopped moving when he jerked it into park with a “tunk.” Ignoring car safety as well as social niceties, Reid left the driver’s side door wide open, ignored the photographer’s greeting, and left his very pregnant wife struggling to exit the car on his way to confront his mother.

“Reid. How nice to see you,” but Rose didn’t mean it, her normal smile had replaced by the look someone gets when they have to take a very bitter medicine.

By this time, Katherine was carefully making her way up the front walk. The photographer had seen her difficulty and helped her out of the car, forever earning Katherine’s highest praise of “What a nice man!” She heard Reid demanding to know what was going on, why were there mannequins on the porch, and who was the guy with the cameras.

She heard Rose say, “Reid, it’s none of your concern.”

“Oh, I think it is!” he answered, a slight threat to his voice.

Katherine stepped onto the porch, puffing slightly with the effort. “Mother, we’re just…worried about you,” she said. Reid’s face was starting to turn red with all the yelling and she patted his arm trying to calm him.

“Oh, posh!” her mother-in-law answered. “There’s nothing to worried about. I just didn’t have time to put the girls in storage. And that man is a photographer from the Kansas City paper, come to take pictures of them.”

The thought of his mother’s oddities being splashed all over the paper, even in some back section, was almost more than he could take. “What? Now, mother…”

“Don’t you ‘now, mother’ me, young man! You may be too big to put over my knee, but if you don’t take that disrespectful tone out of your voice I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!” The delicate, lady-like, impeccably dressed Miss Rose had taken her much taller son’s ear in her fingers and was giving it a cruel pinch.

With a wincing face and a reddening ear, the younger Dr. Dose cried out, “Ow, all right, all right!” then a pouty, “I’m sorry,” when she let go the offended ear.

Miss Rose brushed imaginary wrinkles out of her crisp, summer dress and smiled at the now wide-eyed newspaper man. “Never mind my rude son, young man, come on in and sit down. You too, Katherine. Reid didn’t tell me you were having a baby!” She shepherded them all into the parlor, and served them iced tea.

Katherine sat quietly listening to Rose answer the other man’s questions. Not only was he taking pictures of Miss Rose and the girls, he was writing a feature about them, too. Miss Rose’s stories, and the way she told them, thoroughly charmed not only the photographer, but Katherine as well. Even her husband began to relax and enjoy the anecdotes, even if he liked to pretend he didn’t. She sighed to herself, if only her own parents were this open and friendly, instead of serious and distant, life would have been much more fun!

The last question the newspaper man asked was: Where did they all come from? Katherine was curious too. Miss Rose answered with a chuckle, “You’d be surprised. Some came from department stores, some from the store fixture shop in Tulsa, and many were gifts. More people than you might expect have a mannequin or two. And when they find out I collect the girls, they give them to me. You know, if I put all my gowns on dressmaker’s dummies, I’d just be proud. Since I put them on the girls, my son, at least, thinks I’m crazy.”

The photographer excused himself to take the rest of his pictures. “Mother, I never said you were crazy! Like Kath said, we’re just worried about you. We don’t want you to be lonely,” Reid said, taking his mother’s hand.

“Honey, I’m not lonely, not around here. But it’s sweet of you to be concerned,” Rose said, removing her hand from his. “I’ve just always like playing dress-up and the girls let me do that.”

Katherine interrupted, “I may have somebody here you could play dress-up with.” She patted her growing belly and continued, “We found out we’re having a little girl.”

“That is good news, Katherine! But you all live so far away.”

Reid looked over at her, and she nodded. Then he said, “That interview in Dallas? I lied. The interview is here, in Post. Dad’s replacement wants to retire and move, so his office called me and asked if I’d like to take his place.”

He paused, and Rose said, “And? Son, you never could just get to the point.”

“Well, we didn’t want to get your hopes up, in case it didn’t work out. But we’ve already decided to take it. And move back here to Post. You okay with that?”

“Of course, I am! The very thought.” And she hugged both of them.

Months later, after Reid and Katherine had moved into a nice little house not far from Rose, and after the baby was born, Miss Rose Dose got rid of most of her “girls”. She couldn’t have a grandbaby over if the house wasn’t safe for children! And as a brand-new grandmother, she just didn’t have time to play with dolls anymore. She saved some of her favorite outfits in the last remaining cedar chest, just in case her granddaughter, Olivia, turned out to be the kind of girl who liked to play dress-up.

On occasion, Katherine would drive by the windows downtown just to look at the mannequins and dresses that graced the shops year-round now. Only two mannequins remained in Miss Rose’s house, up in the attic. One of the girls, wearing Rose’s wedding gown, and Howard, still in his hunting gear.

Project Number 4

Individual Project 4

Page 334, #9-Imagine a character who is your complete opposite in some specific way…Now choose an action (walking to school, eating in a café, making a sale to a customer), and write a scene in which your “opposite I” character is performing that action. Make the character sympathetic and intriguing…allow the detail and dialogue in the scene to gradually reveal this to the reader.

Today started as a quiet day, like too many before it. Sunday is a perfect day for sleeping in and I gave it my best. But, even when I don’t set the alarm I still wake up at seven. The mattress had just the right amount of “give”, the sheets were crisp and fresh-smelling, the pillow was cool against my face, there was plenty of room, but sleep would not return. Sleep, like a vampire, had fled at the first sliver of sunrise.

Putting off the inevitable no longer, I pushed myself out of bed. Eight o’clock passed, and then nine; I made breakfast and read the Times. I don’t like to talk myself so the house was mostly silent, broken only by the sizzle-drip of the coffee maker. Well, silent until the phone rang. It was my mother.

“You are going to church this morning, aren’t you, Lanie?” She didn’t even let me answer. “They keep asking about you, especially that nice Alfred! You could do worse, he’s a pharmaceutical rep and his mother says he makes nice money!”

“Mother, would you please stop talking about me to your friends? I’m sure Alfred is a perfectly nice man, but I’m not interested.” I’m sure he is, and I’m just as sure that my mother could go on all day about it if I didn’t cut her off.

She was undeterred, “Lanie, this has gone on long enough. You really need to move on!” Move on, what a despicable phrase, obviously coined by someone who had never had to actually “move on” from anything.

“Look, Mom, I really don’t want to sit there all alone and pretend to be happy.”

“Nonsense! You can sit with us.”

There was really only one way to handle this, “Goodbye, Mom, I’m hanging up now!” And I did.

I didn’t have anywhere to go; no one was waiting for me. The Times was still waiting so I sat down to read. The room seemed bigger, emptier with half the chairs gone. Each brush of each page echoed in the nearly empty room. After reading the paper, I went to the closet to get dressed.

Half the closet was bare; I still couldn’t bring myself to move my clothes over. I guess I still clung to hope. Hopeful or hopeless, I had to wear clothes.

Dressed now, the rest of day stretched before me. I could go anywhere, do anything, and not have to worry about meshing my plans with someone else’s. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. The morning had been pleasant and relaxing. Tonight, I would try sleeping in the middle of the bed.

I left the newspaper sections where they fell.

My classmates didn’t get to edit this one, so have at it, folks! Tell me if you like it, if you didn’t, whatever.

How to Mix Science and Faith

Categories: Questions | 10 Comments

As a nursing student, I am taking a lot of science classes. Mostly life sciences, to be sure, but science none the less. And one thing, in all my studies, that I have noticed is how all life is intimately tied together in evolution’s intricate dance. Just look at mitochondria. Another thing I’ve noticed is that my science professors either side-step this entirely or refer to it only obliquely. Yes, this is Oklahoma, the buckle of the Bible Belt, but still. I wish that at least one professor would come out and say something along the lines of: “Life on this planet, over the course of billions of years, evolved from single-celled organisms to the myriad life forms we see today.”

One of my professors, who happens to be demonstrably conservative, very nearly came close to acknowledging this, but stopped short. He was discussing the harmful effects of artificial fats, like partially hydrogenated fats, on the human body. He told us that naturally occurring animal fats were more easily processed by the human body because…..then he stopped himself here. What he didn’t want to, couldn’t, acknowledge was that humans process animal fats more efficiently than laboratory-created fats because we evolved on this planet eating the other animals that also evolved on this planet!!!!!! But his conditioning could not allow him to admit to this simple truth. (I am in no way advocating the eating of animals or animal by-products to my readers that might have a problem with this, I am simply illustrating a point.)

But I have to say that I get it. I know why professors are reluctant to state the facts of evolution, a lot of christians get all bent out of shape and scared by the very thought of evolution. For folks that frequently decry “political correctness”, they sure are hypersensitive about this; and they stamp their widdle feet and get all pouty when presented with things that don’t fit into their neat little packages. To me, this speaks of a very childish kind of faith. If a person’s faith is shaken and devastated by learning about The Big Bang and evolutionary fact, well it wasn’t much of a faith to begin with, so he or she isn’t out much.

As a Christian, my faith is in no way threatened by evolution, or the Big Bang, or the true age of the Earth or the Universe, heliocentrism, and that the earth isn’t flat. But I don’t find it necessary to completely segregate faith and science. For most other christians, I would have to say, please separate science and religion, you aren’t any good at mixing them. Setting aside the fact that I do not hold with biblical literalism, the bible is not a scientific text!

So why do people want to use the bible as a science book? That’s easy: fear. Let’s look at the number 2 billion, that’s about how many years multi-cellular organisms have been on earth. 2,000,000,000. Looks harmless enough, right? But that is not an easy number to truly contemplate. Once a person starts really thinking about how many years that is compared to the 80-odd most people get, well, bless their pea-pickin’ little hearts, they just can’t abide it. 80 (one zero) to 2,000,000,000 (nine zeros), not really a fair fight is it? Don’t even ask most people to start thinking about the age of the universe. Which is, according to Cosmology 101, 13.7 billion years old! If we were to state that comparing the age of the universe to that of a human, with 1 year=1 billion years, then the universe is a teenager! And multi-cellular life on earth, at 2 billion, is but a mere toddler. As for homo sapiens (that’s us!), according to The Smithsonian Institution, we’ve been kicking around for only 130,000 years. If I’m figuring right, we haven’t even been conceived yet. This is where the analogy breaks down, I tend to think of humanity as in its toddlerhood. Currently raising toddler number two, I know how destructive, selfish, and unthinking toddlers can be. And yep, that’s pretty much us as a species: given to tearing stuff up and throwing temper tantrums when we don’t get absolutely everything just the way we want it and in a timely manner.

Seems like a lot of people have a real problem with not being the biggest grown-up on the block. How many among us would be comfortable admitting how scary everything can be? This fear of fact, fear of the astronomical, is a form of agoraphobia, some people have it and some people don’t. I can stand under the big, Oklahoma sky and love it, not fear it. My physical position on Earth is much like that of a microbe clinging to the surface of a soccerball, but I never fear that I will loose the bond of gravity and go spinning off into space. While I can’t truly grasp the enormity of 13.7 billion years, I don’t fear it, I don’t have to deny it. I embrace it in whatever dim fashion I can.

As for faith and science, I see the Hand of God in the majesty of the Big Bang. I cannot claim to know the mind of the Almighty, but it seems more probable to me that He is more present in the terrifyingly large number of 13.7 billion than in the mere 6000 or so that young earthers want to grant Him. As if we could box God into a less fearful package for our own comfort! The sheer sacrilege of such a thought is undeniable.

And why should my faith be threatened by the notion that my ancestors were much hairier apes and didn’t just spring from the mud wearing the latest style hat, as it were? Please don’t burden me with the “In His image” line. Here again, people want to limit God, make Him just like us, only older.

And to those who don’t want their children to learn about anything that isn’t in the bible, like dinosaurs (I’m not kidding), well don’t come crying at my door when your precious babies finally learn the facts for themselves and hate you for deceiving them. Didn’t God give us these questioning minds? These searching souls? If so, why would He want us to freeze our knowledge base at that level more suited to a nomadic, desert tribe 5000 years ago, at that time void of education and rife with superstition? The Creation Story is just that, a story, presented to a people with no scientific knowledge, in a manner that was comprehensible to them at the time. Humanity has matured in the intervening years, even if only a little and only in some ways.

I have my Truth, you have your Truth, everybody has their own, individual Truths, but facts are the same for everyone, whether you like it or not. My challenge to other Christians, heck to anyone who needs to grow a little, is this: don’t try to make God, or your Truth, more manageable by trying to shrink Him down to your size. It won’t work. Grow in your own faith, or Truth, until you can accept that others might not share that Truth or faith, but that the difference doesn’t lessen yours at all. And try not to fear the astronomical, it can’t hurt you. The only thing that will weaken your faith is fear-fear of the unknown, fear of the different, fear of feeling insignificant.

But science, science is not to be feared, but embraced. The God of Abraham, the God of Jesus, the God of the Big Bang, the God of evolution, He gave me a scientific mind and I won’t deny His gift.

At The Rocks

This vacation was not turning out the way Irene had envisioned at all. It was bad enough that Bob’s mother had insisted on coming with them, but then she wouldn’t pay for her own room. Bob and Irene hadn’t spent more than thirty minutes alone in the past week. So much for the second honeymoon.
She liked Frances, really she did, but this week was pushing her to the very limits of her patience. The evenings were the worst. After the day’s activities were done, there was nothing more to do than pass endless minutes watching the tiny television and then try to fall asleep listening to mother and son snore the same snore. Tonight would be different. Tonight she would be so tired that she would fall asleep first!
Morning had passed quickly at the Desert Museum. Lunch had dragged on at its customary, old lady’s pace; but she was here now, finally. The Petroglyphs were the centerpiece of their vacation. Irene spent several days at the Central Library studying the Mogollon people and their rock art, and here she was, looking at the rocks with her own eyes!
Frances decided against following them up into the rocks and stayed down at the gate, talking to the guard. The wind had picked up and was now whistling through the rocks, but she could still hear Frances’ voice as she chatted to the guard.
Bob, holding her hand, helped her climb to the top of hill. It wasn’t a very big hill, but the view from the top was still breath taking. Picking their way carefully down the other side, they stopped and kissed. She wrapped her arms around his waist and sighed into his chest. Why couldn’t they be here alone? This wasn’t the first time she thought it, but this time she didn’t try to squash the thought the moment it occurred.
There must be an airfield nearby, because a jet flew right over them, close to the ground at first but climbing quickly. Still, in the background, she could hear Frances. Mostly unintelligible, an occasional word would drift up on a gust of wind. “…Sciatica…”, she heard once, and then, “…coffee…” Irene had to smile. Frances loved her coffee.
Then Bob called to her. She couldn’t see him anymore. He must be behind that large rock, she thought.
“That’s odd,” she said aloud, as walked around the large rock. Bob wasn’t where she thought he would be, and now she couldn’t hear him anymore. “Bob?” she called, once and then again.
He’s around here somewhere, she thought, and then shrugged. The rock pictures were amazing here, deeper and cleaner looking than they were on the other side. Look, there was a picture of a man and something that looked like an elephant! Was that a flying saucer? She looked around for Bob again, because she wanted to share all these things with him. Where was that man? She stopped to listen and couldn’t hear him, or anything else for that matter. Had Frances finally run out of things to say? The stillness was unnatural and Irene was starting to get concerned.
“Bob!” she called out again, much louder this time. “Hello?”
Weird, she said to herself. Then she noticed something else. While she was calling for Bob, she was also turning in circles and now wasn’t sure which way to go.
Only one thing to do, she thought, go up! As she climbed up, she had a momentary spell of vertigo and grabbed a rock for support. Her hand was resting on a carved face, “Sorry,” she said as jerked her hand off the old face. She must be going in the right direction; the glyphs were starting to look older and more worn again.
That’s when she heard Bob. “Irene? Where are you?” he called, an edge of panic to his voice.
“I’m right here!” she answered.
Then she heard Frances, still talking to the guard. That woman could talk to anyone. Another a jet flew by, higher this time. The unnatural stillness was dispelled, which made Irene very happy.
“Where have you been? I thought I lost you!” Bob hugged her so tightly her spine popped a little.
“Just on the other side of that rock,” Irene answered and pointed.
“No, you weren’t. I just looked over there and you weren’t there!” Bob said, “It’s been almost half an hour. I thought I was going to have to go down and call the police, or the sheriff, or marshal or something!”
That couldn’t be right! “Honey, according to my watch it’s only been about five minutes.”
On the breeze, Frances’ words flew up to them again; this time they could hear the guard answer back. Then Frances giggled like flirting teenager. That’s when they looked down at the gate and saw that Frances had wedged herself inside the little booth with guard.
Shaking their heads at the same time, Bob and Irene made their way down to the gate and collected his mother.
Only later, did they notice that their watches were off by about 25 minutes.
Odd, thought Irene, right before she drifted off to sleep, snoring happily.